Hey, I have an idea for an app.

The pitch is simple. Tell the app our belief system and why we’re right and the app does the rest.

Within seconds we receive studies, white papers, and expert citations confirming everything we already believe. Official looking footnotes and everything. That’s just the free version of course.

Premium adds an AI-generated guy who applauds every time we have an opinion, and a reassuring “I told you so!” ringtone.

The companion website, IAmAlwaysRight.com, is easy to find. We were headed there anyway.

We could all rest easy knowing we’re perfect and our political beliefs are unassailable.