I was having a conversation with one of my kids recently, and she parroted back: “Dad, don’t judge.”

Don’t judge? You’ve been on this planet for what, ten minutes, and you’re coaching me? No, I judge. People who know right and wrong do that.

In fact, sweetie, here’s another judgement: “Don’t judge” is code for I just did something stupid and/or wrong and I’m embarrassed you saw and/or heard. Superman never said “Don’t Judge” after rescuing kids from a burning building.

In fact, when my kids are sleeping, dad might be on the roof with his hands in the air — judging!

Neither she nor any of my other kids brought up the “J” word again.

(Message received.)